Dear friends and followers,

Once again the year has gone by quickly and I am unprepared to deal with the technical challenges of a new post after so much time away. Here goes my humble attempt.

2025 was a very busy year for our book. I am still moved by happy memories of our amazing book launch party in November 2024, which can be viewed at www.whenmenbuysex.ca.

Our publishers originally advised that we should be prepared to spend as much time promoting as we did writing – so 2025 marked year two of three.

Here we are again last year with our host Ryan Jespersen, Elder Karen MacKenzie, Her Honor Salma Lakhani, and long-time mentor Kate Quinn.

Last Christmas seems so long ago already. Last year I posted a memorial in the Journal and online for what would have been Cara’s 50th birthday on December 28 and was heartened by many responses.

Christmas festivities are always shadowed by memories of losses, another reminder to keep our loved ones close and to support the less fortunate.

Fifty years ago,

A tiny angel came to earth with broken wings,

Undaunted, she tried to fly as best she could,

Fun-loving, impulsive, not fully aware,

A challenge to all who knew her

To love and protect her and keep her safe.

Many tried. We all failed  And she disappeared from our midst.

Her battered body found abandoned,  Alone in a field, spirit silenced, murder still unsolved.

And so my work continues with advocacy and education wherever I can. January included a two-day conference on “Missing and Murdered Indigenous Relatives – Strength in Our Stories“ with powerful speakers. In April, Andrea received the Soroptimist Joy Award for her work against sexual exploitation. This was an honor I shared earlier in 2021. Another event was a May 5th gathering at First Peoples House at U of A where Andrea’s film “The Missing, Murdered, and Forgotten“ was shown.

A major highlight of spring was the “Transforming Practices” conference in Red Deer May 28-29. Four survivor educators from Edmonton – Angela, Jenn, Tanya, and Juanita – presented two panels on “Survivors of Sex Trafficking: Resilience and Recovery.“ Andrea and I presented “Commercial Sex: Empowerment or Exploitation? “  My brother and sister-in-law graciously offered to watch our book table and sold 71 books for us!

In September I participated in a Human Trafficking workshop in Saskatoon. In October, Andrea presented at Resource Connect in Edmonton and we both shared our perspectives with Little Warriors.

November took us to Ottawa for an amazing three days on Parliament Hill. Two men groups, Men Ending Trafficking from Ontario and EmpowerMen from Manitoba, sponsored us to gift copies of our book to all (448) sitting MPs and Senators of Canada. Too bad our picture is blurry. UNITED stands for Unifying Nationally to Interrupt Trafficking and Exploitation Demand.

We were mentioned in the House, introduced to the Senate, and hosted for a meet-and-greet by MP Arnold Viersen from Alberta and Senator Julie Miville-Dechene from Quebec, both long-term advocates.

As well as our sponsors, we were joined by authors Jeanne Sarson and Linda MacDonald from Nova Scotia, Michelle Able from the National Council of Canadian Women, and Liz John-West from CEASE Edmonton. Together we provided a concise and informative press release.

Mention must also be made of Winnipeg’s “Journey to Justice” conference late November. International speakers included Reem Alsalem, United Nations Special Rapporteur on violence against women, MMIR workers from Minnesota, and Marcel van der Watt, President of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation in Washington, DC.  Andrea presented “Behind Closed Doors” with Casandra Diamond, challenging municipalities across Canada whose bylaws circumvent PCEPA legislation and protect consumers of sexual exploitation.

It was inspiring to be in the company of so many brilliant and dedicated people from around the world who share a common vision. Whether learning or educating, my involvement will continue. My hope for 2026 is to recognize more memorial themes and to share in more detail some of the work that is being done to address commercial sexual exploitation and human trafficking – in Canada and internationally! Stay tuned.

Very best wishes to all for freedom, equality, respect, and peace in 2026!

        King, Caralyn Aubrey        Dec 28, 1974 ~ Sept 1, 1997        Happy Heavenly Birthday!

Fifty years ago, a tiny angel came to earth with broken wings.

Undaunted she tried to fly as best she could, Fun-loving, impulsive, not fully aware,

A challenge to all who knew her to love and protect her and keep her safe.

Many tried. We all failed and she disappeared from our midst,

her battered body found abandoned, alone in a field, spirit silenced,  murder still unsolved.

Rest in peace, precious angel, deeply missed by your mom, family, and friends.

Your legacy a conscience call to all of good faith ~ better services for vulnerable, prevention of exploitation.

www.whenmenbuysex.ca 

Dear family and friends,

Seasons greetings everyone! It’s been so long since I posted that I forget how. For some reason, I’m having troubles with my photos so this may be a relatively unadorned missive until I have time for a refresher class.

2024 was another very full year. As always, we are grateful for time spent with loved ones and the blessings we share. We count ourselves fortunate for our many friends and family who, for the most part, enjoy spending time together.

Where to begin? I suppose the biggest challenge for me was that was I was diagnosed type 2 diabetic about this time last year. The first sign was waking up one morning with blurred vision. I had not checked my lab results after my fall medical, nor had my doctor caught the abnormal numbers. I remember feeling foggy for several weeks, not comfortable driving myself, plus not happy with side effects (nausea) from massive doses of Metformin, the standard medical response.

However, all that eventually settled. Over the ensuing months, I chose a dietary approach – less sugar, no processed food, more fiber and protein, intermittent fasting most days from about 6pm to 9-10am the next day (i.e. 15-16 hours) plus electronic monitoring for several months. The good news is that pounds seemed to melt away (about 40 to date) and my numbers stabilized. As a result, I was giving away clothes all summer and fall, shopping on an “as needed” basis to fit my smaller self.

Last year Christmas festivities included a trip to Vermilion, big family Christmas Eve at Suzie and Colin’s, visit with Barb, and supper at Betty and Dale’s on Christmas Day. We started the New Year hosting most of the family for supper.

Super big news was that my and Andrea’s book (started in April 2021 and submitted November 2023) was finally published on January 5, 2024, after multiple edits and proof layouts. We are so happy that When Men Buy Sex: Who Really Pay? is ready for Canada and the world! Our publishers advised that we should be prepared to spend as much time promoting our book as we did writing – and it came to pass that book-related activities demanded considerable attention.

We celebrated out NAIT friends with a January brunch and then Bill’s 84th birthday with a big family supper. So nice that we are all able to get together.

We passed on our annual trip to Mexico this year to attend a March law enforcement conference in Winnipeg on “Prosecuting Demand: Deterring Sex Buying and Exploitation.” Andrea and I both presented at the conference. We had 50 books shipped ahead for our first “launch” of sorts and sold 43! Our trip was complemented with visiting Bill’s family around the area. Special thanks to Barb and Rick for the kind hospitality before we moved to the lovely Fort Garry Hotel. Blizzard conditions prevailed rather than beach weather.

Back in Edmonton, Andrea and I were honored to receive the inaugural Dr. Zohra Husaini Memorial Award for “exceptional dedication to advancing women’s rights.  It was particularly gratifying to be recognized by the Human Rights community in a country where the pro-prostitution lobby is often allowed to take center stage.

Back to family, one of our greatest joys of the year was the March 15 arrival of twin great grand-babies Bryer and Bria. They are the first-borns of Bill’s first-born grandson and are the happiest, most entertaining little people. Kudos to their parents for managing so well!  We celebrated group birthdays later in the month with a home-made pizza party.

Moving ahead to April, Grandma King turned 99 and agreed to a small party ahead of her 100th.  Save the date April 21, 2025, and stand tuned for details.  She remains in extended care at the Vermilion Lodge and continues to do reasonably well although her mobility, sight, and hearing are compromised.

Our oldest grand-daughter, Megan, graduated in June and is now at the University of Alberta. The first weekend of June was our second annual family camp at Long Lake hosted by Suzie and Colin at their cabin. Other highlights were regular trips to Vermilion, various awareness events and podcasts, hours of diabetic webinars, regular meetings with my writing group and book club, family dinners, gatherings at River Cree, and lots of summer birthday celebrations.

Bill became to experience usual back pain in May and after a series of further investigations, it was determined he needed to have a kidney removed. Summer and fall seemed full of medical appointments as well as planning our major book-launch for fall.  Surgery was scheduled for Oct 21 and successfully completed with no signs of cancer beyond the diseased kidney. We were very grateful for the care provided by Alberta Health Services and deeply appreciate for the care and attention provided by all the children from rides to appointments to extra meals during recovery.

Andrea and I were thrilled and honored to be recognized as Human Rights Champions by the John Humphrey Centre for Peace and Human Rights.  A lovely ceremony was held Sept 19 at government house with awards presented by the Honourable Salma Lakhani, Lieutenant-Governor of Alberta. To be in the company of so many esteemed honorees was a further tribute to our cause.

This was followed by our major Nov 3 event Exposing Exploitation: Focus on Demand which included lunch at the Chateau Louis with a four-pronged focus of awareness. We celebrated 10 years of Equality Model legislation (PCEPA) in Canada, the launch of our book, a preview of Andrea’s film  Chapter 5: The Missing, Murdered, and Forgotten from the eight-chapter docuseries, Labeled.

Here we are with MC Ryan Jespersen, Elder Karen MacKenzie, the Honourable Salma Lakhani who provided the most inspiring introduction,  and long-term supporter Kate Quinn.

A 90-minute livestream program has been saved for posterity and is available for viewing on our website http://whenmenbuysex.ca.

The highlight of our book launch portion was giving opportunity to six of the survivors featured in the book to share their powerful stories. Our event was generally acclaimed an amazing success and  livestream is definitely worth watching!

Once again thank you to all who have blessed our lives with friendship and caring.

Although I end the year feeling somewhat depleted, I look forward to continued connections in 2025, albeit more slowly paced.

Very best wishes to all for a peaceful Christmas and a happy healthy New Year.

Take good care of yourselves and each other. Time is precious. Enjoy and be grateful. I hope to blog more regularly in 2025.

Love from Kathy and Bill

The REDress Project began in 2012 by Jamie Black, a Metis artist from Manitoba, as an aesthetic response to the national issue of murdered and missing women. Her original intention was to hang 600 red dresses in public places as a visual reminder of the women no longer with us. Exhibitions were subsequently installed in many places across Canada with a permanent exhibition established 2014 in the Canadian Museum of Human Rights. Jamie saw the color red as a “calling back of the spirits” to give our missing and murdered women a chance to be among us again and to have their voices heard.

Red Dress Day is important because it brings attention to an important conversation, how to ensure that the sacredness of all women is respected in society and how to create equal opportunity for all marginalized populations. It is day to remember those who are no longer with us, and a call to action to ensure that justice is served. Human rights underscore the need for equality and justice. We stand in solidarity with impacted families and communities and seek ways of healing together.

Cara loved red dresses as a little girl ~ or perhaps it was that I enjoyed dressing her in red. She was my special Christmas gift in 1974 and having a new red dress every year was part of our seasonal tradition.

She is fourth from the left, second row from the bottom, in the above collage.

Her story, as readers know, ended in a field near Sherwood Park, where she was found September 1, 1997, by a farmer harvesting his crop. She disappeared from the streets of Edmonton and has been missing a month before she was found.

Cara’s story is among many, an estimated 4000 across Canada, that continue to challenge us with many questions. Not only, how can we prevent further tragedies but what about the many unsolved cases? How can so many murderers and their accomplices remain silent? Surely there are people who know what happened.

Hopefully, those who care are ready to build a more healthy and equitable society.

Andrea Heinz and Kathy King were proud recipients of the inaugural Dr. Zohra Husaini Memorial Award presented by the Indo-Canadian Women’s Association for Exceptional Dedication to Advancing Women’s Human Rights.

Eligibility criteria were that recipients must have exhibited exceptional dedication to advancing women’s human rights across various disciplines and fields of endeavor, plus actively contributed to at least one innovative project aimed at furthering women’s human rights. 

We are extremely grateful to Kate Quinn, our long time colleague and mentor, for her very generous joint nomination in recognizing our collaborative work over the years and the potential impact of our recently published book. It was and is particularly meaningful that we were recognized in the context of women’s human rights!

Once again, if you have not already done so, please go to our author page @  whenmenbuysex.ca for further information and purchase options.

Our publishers advised last year that we will need to spend as much time promoting our book as we did writing so we anticipate considerable continued activity. Thanks again to the Indo-Canadian Women’s Association for recognizing When Men Buy Sex: Who Really Pays? and for the unexpected and much appreciated launch. 

My husband and I travelled early to spend a few days visiting his family. Andrea and April Eve planned to fly out Sun afternoon but all flights were cancelled due to a blizzard. They very bravely rented a car and made the 16-hour drive in hazardous conditions to arrive in time the Monday evening reception. Kudos to them for dedication to the cause!

It was such a pleasure to spend two days in the company of like-mined people from across Canada. The conference was Prosecuting Demand: Deterring Sex Buying and Exploitation. Winnipeg is one of few cities across Canada that takes federal legislation seriously and has harmonized their bylaws to deter sex buying.

Embarrassingly, the city of Edmonton adopted bylaws to protect sex buyers, under the guise of providing “harm reduction” to marginalized and impoverished sellers. No such hypocrisy was present in Winnipeg!

Targeting demand removes the SOURCE of harm from women; it is about disrupting entitlement.

Some highlights of the conference included:

April Eve spoke as a survivor of sexual exploitation and trafficking. She believes that what happened to her could happen to anyone and she speaks to protect the collective sacredness of all people. Her years of childhood abuse left her vulnerable to being groomed into a life of drugs and exploitation. She was trafficked across western Canada, to Vegas, and eventually to New York before being able to escape back to Canada.

Sexual exploitation involves three components: (1) traffickers whose motive is financial, (2) buyers who create the demand, and (3) exploited persons who constitute the “supply.” Without demand, there would be no need for a supply. Efforts to deter men can exist on a continuum of prevention, education, and legal enforcement. Interestingly, while we in Edmonton often champion the success of our STOP: Sex Trade Offender Program in educating men, others felt alternative measures such as “john schools” were too soft.

Joy Smith spoke of her work in helping change federal legislation. She believes human trafficking is Canada’s biggest secret and that we need to join hands as a nation to fight it. Her Joy Smith Foundation promotes awareness to help protect the vulnerable and support for law enforcement and survivors.

Dr. Kari Johnstone is the Special Representative and Coordinator for Combatting Human Trafficking with OSCE, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe.  She reminded us that the Palermo Protocol (endorsed by Canada in 2002) specifies that participating countries have committed to discouraging the demand. This requires a holistic approach including technology, government, awareness. education, legal enforcement, and improved services. The struggle continues.

When Men Buy Sex: Who Really Pays? was officially published Jan 5, 2024.

My first copy arrived the end of January, we received a bulk order shortly after , and we have been accepted on consignment at Audreys, an iconic Edmonton book store. Andrea and I are thrilled with the response to date.

Thank you to all who have supported our journey and to all who have endorsed the book. This marks the beginning of our new phase of promotion as we continue to spread the message that commercial sexual exploitation can be prevented. 

More information and purchase options are available at http://whenmenbuysex.ca .

In the meantime, let us be kind to ourselves and to each other and  strive to build a better world. I will always regret that I was unable to save my daughter from her tragic fate. My gift, in her memory, is to help promote dignity and equality for all vulnerable people. RIP Cara. May your spirit soar and may others enjoy the peace and freedom that you were denied!

February 14, 2024, marks the sixth anniversary of the launch of my website in honor of my daughter, Cara, who died a death that no one deserves.

Her young adult life was marred with drug experimentation and intermittent drug-related psychosis  which left her vulnerable to frequent hospitalizations, housing instability,  and exploitation.

Her fun-loving and carefree personality, the undaunted spirit she demonstrated in younger years, were all destroyed by so-called “friends” who did not have her best interests at heart and led her into a dark world from which she was unable to escape.

She disappeared from the streets of Edmonton in 1997, her body found a month later in a field outside the city. The mystery of her disappearance and probable murder is still unsolved.

My mission, in her memory, has been to improve services for other vulnerable and voiceless young people and to help create awareness of the harms of commercial sexual exploitation. This is a social plague which lures many victims to unspeakable trauma and premature death. Cara was recognized as MMIW, a Missing and Murdered Indigenous Woman, part of a national carnage that society is beginning to recognize.

I would also like to remember a former friend and colleague, Danielle Boudreau, whom I met in 2006 when she founded the Memorial Walk for the Missing and Murdered Women of Edmonton. The walk, held on Feb 14, was patterned after a similar event  which originated 1992 in Vancouver’s Downtown East Side.

Danielle and I shared many walks, as well as other adventures and advocacy events in the following years. Unfortunately, she too was taken too soon, at age 48, on Nov 6, 2023. RIP Danielle.

My website and blog were relatively neglected over the last few years when my attention was focused on “the book.” What started out as a Covid project, homebound as we were for almost two years, became a grueling three-year project with co-author Andrea Heinz as we researched, interviewed, collaborated, consulted, restructured, and conducted multiple edits of our developing manuscript. We are thrilled to have When Men Buy Sex: Who Really Pays? officially published as of Jan 5, 2024.  Further blogs will serve to help promote the book and track our progress.

Many thanks to new and faithful followers. Further info available at whenmenbuysex.ca.

Dear family and friends,

Seasons greetings everyone. 2023 was a very full year with the usual highs and lows. As always, we are grateful for time spent with loved ones and the blessings we share.

This being my 75^th year, I decided to detail most events for posterity along with pictorial records. It seems our health and memories are on a slow (thankfully) but steady decline. Unfortunately, we ended 2022 with a Covid Christmas. We happily hosted the annual Brook celebration on Dec 18 and the virus snuck in uninvited. After two years of careful living and five immunizations, Bill and I were both seriously ill and voluntarily homebound for about three weeks.

Luckily, we were back in good health for Bill’s 83rd celebration (Feb 8) at our house.

Since then, regular activities have included birthdays of family (a growing group) and friends, get-togethers with the NAIT gang, trips to Vermilion, book club meeting, writing group gatherings, a few more conferences both in person and online, and “working on the book.”

Yes, the book project persisted for another full year. Co-author Andrea and I started in April 2021 and When Men Buy Sex: Who Really Pays? continued to demand attention with multiple edits and proof layouts the last six months. We finally submitted our copyright Nov 30 so are awaiting publishing details. Commitment remained consistent at about 600 hours a year.

We enjoyed our annual trip to Mexico in early April with Suzie & Colin, their family, her folks, and our mutual friends the Zambo family.

Grandma King turned 98, no party at her request. She wants to save her energy for her 100th. (Save the date: April 21, 2025) She was hospitalized in August and has since moved to extended care in Vermilion where she is able to receive daily meals and personal assistance as required. Her health is stable although her mobility, sight, and hearing are compromised. She seems settled but does find the days long at times.

June highlight was family camp weekend at Long Lake hosted by Colin and Suzie at their cabin. Some brought their own trailers, others bunked in the holiday trailer / bunkhouse (which can sleep10 in a pinch). The grandsons spent much time fishing between feasts and pontoon rides.

Another highlight was Thanksgiving with the whole gang and special visitors from Manitoba.

My sister Betty turned 70 on Dec 7 so we celebrated with a small party, her request, at their house.

Otherwise, all extended family are reasonably well. Many plans for the New Year are still pending. Hopefully, they include a book launch before too long and other promotional activities. Check out www.whenmenbuysex.ca for updates.

We have some West Jet credits to book by Jan so we will be flying somewhere.

Once again thank you to all who have blessed our lives with friendship and caring. We hope for continued connections. Very best wishes to all for a peaceful Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. Take good care of yourselves and each other. Time is precious. Enjoy and be grateful.

Love from Kathy and Bill

       Why Sanctioned Servitude?

Sacred

Women are sacred

Life-giving, birthing new generations

Nurturing body, heart, mind, and spirit.

Why would our city take that away?

License women to be sold? Provide safe sites for sexual consumers?

Harm “reduction,” say they, the well-intentioned but misguided.

Violations of vulnerable “managed” in a monetized market,

public generally unaware that “body rub” means “blow job.”

“Stigma,” they say, kills the missing and murdered,

greedy men not violent if entitlement protected.

Sacred

Women are sacred

Sharing relationships, tenderness, care

Sacred intimacy links partners, builds family, strengthens community.

Shared common vision bridges social divides.

Women deserve to be respected, not relegated to products for purchase.

Our city claims to support inclusion, well-being, accessibility, excellence.

Surely this means training, opportunity, connections, social nets

NOT sanctioned sexual servitude of systemic inequality.

All unity comes from the Sacred circle of life.

Sacredness restored signals hope and healing for living creation.

Wisdom is wrought from watching the marginalized mistreated.

“Anti-trafficking” calls need further interpretation

when consumer demands demonstrate desecration.

Certified commodification spews country wide devastation.

Innocents trafficked across the nation; intimacy traded for cash injection.

To our dismay, the price we pay is loss of sacred connection.

submitted by Kathy King, April 2023

The significance of the question is that Edmonton continues to license brothels in direct defiance of federal legislation passed in 2014. Our mission is deterrence of commercial sexual consumers.

March 4 – World Day of Fight Against Sexual Exploitation,         March 8 – International Women’s Day,

March 18 – National Child Exploitation Awareness Day. 

While the intention of such days seems quite evident, it saddened me to hear a presentation arguing that because some women had historically participated in sexual exploitation for survival, they had a constitutional right to continue to do so.  Which means they need buyers.

What a terrible distortion of logic!

There was no mention of social inequality or injustice, the need for better opportunities, or the insult and degradation of relegating women to a blowjob economy.

The following reflections followed from my sadness:

                        Freedom from Exploitation: A Charter Right

The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms was adopted in 1982 and guarantees the fundamental freedoms of (1) conscience and religion, (2) thought, belief, opinion, and expression, (3) peaceful assembly, and (4) association. Rights include (Section 3) Democratic – the right to vote, (Section 6) Mobility – the right to enter, remain in and leave Canada, (Section 7) Legal – the right to life, liberty, and security of the person, and (Section 15) Equality – the right to protection under the law.

PCEPA, the Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act, passed in 2014, criminalizes the purchase of sexual services and comes under attack by some who argue this somehow threatens the security of those who, for varying reasons, exchange sex for consideration.

Abolitionists are among the recognized equality proponents who believe sexual exploitation in and of itself is a violation of human rights and, accordingly, support the PCEPA legislation.

Points to consider:

(1)    Intersectionality: Most agree that sexual servitude happens, not in isolation, but at the “intersection” of racism, gender inequality, colonialism, non-citizenship, limited employability, patriarchy, and economic oppression. The fact that many vulnerable and marginalized people have sought or been forced into sexual servitude as a means of survival throughout history does not justify continued oppression. Rather, it presents a challenge for society to create equal economic opportunities for marginalized people. Exploitation can not be sanctioned.

(2)    Human Rights: While all people have the right to survive, their livelihood must be measured against the common good. Individual activities such as fraud, extortion, drug dealing, theft, and trafficking are considered crimes rather than protected “work.” Sexual exploitation has been well documented to create serious physical and emotional harm to providers.  Society has an obligation to seek economic alternatives rather endorse unhealthy survival. Anywhere else, if people were continually exposed to body fluids without protection, the “business” would be shut down.

(3)    Stigma: There is no doubt sexual providers, even if pimped or trafficked, have been stigmatized across cultures and throughout history rather than their buyers. Providers are blamed for what is done to them by predominantly male exploiters, as if buyers were somehow the victims. Yet some argue that giving buyers more license could somehow reduce stigma and increase safety. Normalization of trauma is never a solution. Dignity and respect must be restored, which means sanctions against the purchase of sexual access and putting accountability back on consumers.

(4)    Harm Reduction: Some argue that PCEPA increases harm to providers by criminalizing their consumers. If providers have difficulty accessing essential benefits such housing or medical care, or if they are persecuted by police because of their association with buyers, those issues need to be addressed outside of legislation. Increased tolerance leads to greater demand. Protecting consumers creates new victims. Reduction of demand must be the primary focus of intervention to reduce harm for all concerned. Marginalized groups deserve better than being relegated to a sanctioned blow job economy.

Thank you to all who support the sacredness of women, and all citizens, by recognizing that we deserve equal opportunities and social networks to survive, NOT justification of sexual servitude.